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Never give up

Well today has officially been the happiest moment in my entire life. I was accepted as a transfer student for the spring semester of 2015 at Point Park University. I know I’ve posted the last couple of days on how unhappy I’ve been here at Chatham and how I needed out. Point Park has been my dream school since 10the grade. And I knew if I didn’t get in the first time I’d work my ass off to get in. The SAEM program is where I belong, working in the music industry is probably the most important thing in my life, Point Park will give me amazing opportunities and open so many doors that Chatham never will. I can’t wait for December for this semester to be over so I can start fresh at the place where I belong. Giving up wasnt an option and never will be. I will work hard to accomplish any dream I ever have and achieve it!

losing my sanity

I have never been the one to break down and completely give up, but I feel so by myself here. I feel like I am the only one in this place that is feeling this way. I honest feel scared. I feel alone. I feel beside myself. Every where I walk I feel judged because I live the normal life style and live the way the rest of the society lives outside this campus. College is supposed to be the best time of my life but instead Ive spent more time slowly losing my grip than being happy.  Its sad when as soon as I get out of class I run off to somewhere else in this town. I love pittsburgh and Im so blessed that I get to be in this town that holds endless possibilites. But I do not love this school. Ive never been so scared of people in my life. I feel almost like I can’t talk to anyone in fear that something worse will happen. My social anxiety is on high and I’m so jittery that I can’t even sit still. This is a rare occurrence for me for the fact that I am Molly, Im supposed to be the social butterfly everyone knows me as but instead Im Molly, the scared girl who wants to escape from hell. 

Misguided path

For the longest time I always thought somethings that happened in my life were meant to be but right now I just feel like god has misguided me down the wrong path. Is this his way of telling me that everything doesn’t get handed to you even when you work your ass off to prove yourself and set yourself apart from all the others? I thought the day I didn’t get into Point Park’s SAEM program right off the bat and got this offer to come to this beautiful school to play basketball and had my major would be a sign from the big guy telling me hey this is the path that is meant for you. This is what is supposed to be happening. But I have been here for just a mere 5 days and nothing seems right. I don’t feel like I fit in with what this school is trying to promote. I have nothing against the whole women’s rights and feminism but some things that is taught here doesn’t need to be taken this far. The world is a scary place and yes I understand that this feels like a safe home to some of those people who are here solely for that reason. But we all need to except the reality that once you leave this school you will have to work with men and they will share those same streets with them. So why sit here and act that we wouldn’t be around them. I can’t seem to find the words to explain exactly how I feel. I feel like this road block is to challenge me and make me figure out how to handle myself. But over these next few weeks I will take in my surroundings and find myself,  and make important decisions on whether to take the this step or stay holding myself back from achieving my dreams. 

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